The Canadian government just gave a temporary GST exemption on Hanukkah bushes.
In a move almost identical in reasoning to “we can’t talk about antisemitism unless we also talk about Islamophobia,” the Canadian government, in an effort to, I presume, not leave out the Jews, has exempted the GST on both Christmas trees and Hanukkah bushes.
Now while I rub the stars out of my eyes from banging my head against my desk a bit too aggressively, I wonder how on earth this idea made it through from conception to the Government of Canada’s website. I don’t want to give anyone who came up with this idea too much credit, as I imagine someone sat at their own computer, cracked their knuckles, and this is what ensued:
OK OK OK, Christmas trees are obviously going to be tax exempt, thank you Justin! But we’re Canadian, so let’s not leave out anyone else who is celebrating around the same time as Christmas.
But what other holidays happen in late December? I’ll Google it: “Other holidays celebrated Christmas December?”
Wow look at those results with such varied spelling! Is it chanukah or hanukah or hanukkah? Well, some variation of that is also being celebrated on December 25. I wonder what the adherents of that strangely-named-holiday do? Let's Google that too.
“How celebrate hanukah/chanukah/hanukkah?”
Hmm ok, let me see here, potatoes and jelly donuts are aleady GST exempt - its groceries or baked goods. Chocolate coins? Ohh those Jews and their money at it again! Oh, candy is also exempted already. Spinning tops - dreidels - are a form of toy, that is already covered in the exemption too. A Menorah, well, I’m not sure what that is but it probably has something to do with Israel so let’s not even go there.
Ahhh here it is, on the 82nd Google result: “Some Jews have adopted the Christmas tradition of lighting a tree, but instead of a tree, they decorate a bush in their living room, and they call it a Hanukkah bush.”
Oh thank God, there’s also a Wikipedia article about Hanukkah bushes. If its on Wikipedia it MUST be real! All the Jews must do this tradition!
Let’s add that to the list. The Jews will love this, and feel totally included in the spirit of the tax exemption. Maybe it’ll even win us some votes in the next election too!
A Hanukkah bush is not a thing. Jews do not light or decorate it, it plays no role in the mainstream observation of celebrating Chanukah, and if there are Jews who light a Hanukkah bush, they are either doing so ironically, trying to be funny (I can’t imagine what this exemption will do to Hanukkah bush sales this year), or doing so with a baby Jesus wrapped in a keffiyeh in a basket in front of it (Go Google: “Pope Francis desecrates Vatican Christmas”).
In no particular order
To the individual who opted to include a Hanukkah bush on the list of GST exempt items for this holiday season, to the government who agreed that this was a pressing issue, and to all those non-Jews out there who want to know what is actually on the minds of Canada’s Jews this holiday season, this is what most Canadian Jews actually wake up thinking as December is upon us:
It’s month 14 of a war that we did not start. When will it end? Will it ever end? Will things ever go back to normal?
We want our friends, family, and soldiers in Israel to stop worrying about the future, to be able to put down their weapons for a few days, to leave their bomb shelters, to stop worrying about red alert sirens, and to be able to celebrate the upcoming holiday with their families and friends, publicly, in the Jewish State.
The situation in Syria is troubling. Too many of us are asking, “Is the devil we know better than the devil we don’t know?” We are worried about a new front opening on Israel’s northern border with yet another unstable Arab country.
Is the situation in Canada becoming increasingly troubling too? Can I wear my Star of David out in public today? Is it appropriate to wear my metal dog tag remembering the hostages to that meeting I have today? What if someone asks me what it’s about - is it weird or too political to say that I am wearing it to remember the 100 hostages held in Hamas tunnels and living rooms in Gaza at gunpoint over a year later? Is it weird to wear a yellow ribbon to the bar mitzvah I’m going to tonight, when it is maybe injecting sadness into a happy event?
Who is Abu Mohammed al-Jolani? Is he good or bad for Israel?
Will my kids learn what the hostages are today? Will my daughter ask me why a two year old is not able to sleep in his own bed tonight, again, after 400++ days in captivity? I wonder if he is even still alive? Is he with his mother? Is he being raised by a Palestinian family as their own? Is he with his brother?
I wonder if it is safe for my son to go to his bar mitzvah lesson at the local shul? There was supposed to be a rally outside the synagogue today, even though they aren’t really allowed to do that. I wonder if it is safe. I wonder if at 13 he’ll be accused of being a murderer or a baby killer.
If I open up my WhatsApp today, will I see more news of dead Israeli soldiers? Will I recognize any of them? Will one of them have been the soldier on my Birthright bus 10 years ago? I wonder if he was married and had kids? I wonder if he got to say goodbye. I wonder if his body is going to be recovered from that tunnel in Lebanon. I wonder if he knows my cousin, they fight in the same unit.
Is the new leader of the British conservative party good for Israel? Will the new French government be good for Israel? Will Trump live up to his expectations on Israel and the Jews?
My daughter is going to be applying to university in January. I am going to have to check what each of the universities did in response to the rising antisemitism on campus the last 14 months. Let me check if the president, chancellor, or president of the student union wrote anything praising the 10/7 attack, condemning it, or worse, whether s/he stayed completely silent. I wonder what the campus Hillel has in place if there is an attack on the student lounge. I wonder if their sukkah was vandalized, or if any Jewish students were threatened or attacked while walking home from shabbat dinner.
Is it weird to think about buying a gun to protect my family? It seems preposterous, but I’d do anything to protect my family, but it just seems a bit much in Canada. I think.
If I attend a public Chanukiah lighting ceremony, will there be protestors? Will they shout at me to Free Palestine, even though we are celebrating a Jewish ritual and tradition that has nothing to do with Israel? Will I be followed to my car? Followed home? If someone sees me lighting a Chanukiah in my kitchen through my window, will they throw a rock through the window? Will they key my car? Should I keep the curtains closed and celebrate in private?
Is Iran developing a nuclear bomb to destroy Israel?
Is Israel mighty enough to defend itself?
Is the United States going to remain an ally?
Will Bibi actually be arrested if he leaves Israel?
Are the Europeans moving away from Israel?
Are the politicians who are saying anti-Israel things just pandering to their base? Or do they mean it?
Are the politicians saying pro-Israel things just pandering to us, or do they mean it?
Are this many people on X really antisemites? Or is it just trolls and fake accounts?
If I have to leave Canada in a hurry, will I be able to get a fair price for my house? Will I be able to practice my profession in Israel, or Florida, or somewhere else where I will feel more safe?
Will I ever truly feel safe again? Is this what my grandparents told me about so many years ago?
What is happening? Am I OK in the circumstances? Will my family be OK?
And most importantly: what is 13% of the cost of a Hanukkah bush?
Ha..ya..i have heard about the Hanukkah bush for many years but have never encountered it. Maybe GST exempt for the fancy Hanukkah candles from Israel and beyond would have been better! This year we are actually decorating our front lawn tree with the strings of white lights from our sukkah. We need a little extra light this year!
Canada has some of the most ignorant members in our Parliament. They talk about DEI and yet they know nothing about the culture along with Christianity that has set the culture for Canada. We have a leader who says we have no culture. Perhaps he says that because his true culture is Francophone which means his outlook is through eyes of many Francophones who feel they have all the rights in the world and no one else does. I do wish we could find some intelligent, compassionate and openminded people to lead our beautiful land. In case one of them is reading this, remember that Canada's culture was developed based on Christian-Judeo ideals. We welcome all, give them the right of freedom of religion, but not the right to turn our country into a clone of theirs. We also want our leaders to understand that Hanukkah and Christmas are two entirely different holidays. One is the birth a little Jewish boy in Bethlehem and the other is a tells of the successs of defeating an enemy of the Jews who wanted everyone to follow their faith, and the people of Israel defeated the Assyrians, and we celebrate this by the lighting of candles. No connection. No Legitimate Hanukkah bushes. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate, and Chag Hanukkah Sameach to my fellow Jews, everywhere. B'Shalom, Peace to all!!!